Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Yeah, so's been a while.

Told ya I wasn't good at sticking to stuff, but I have made a little progress on some of my New Years Resolutions since I last cast my dreams into cyberspace...

I now have two awesome followers! So freaking cool! So, thank you, Aunt Becky (always the queen of my universe) and thank you Leslie (because you're the awesome friend that I miss so badly!).

OK, on to the resolution progress. So far, I've managed to clean a considerable amount of space out of my cabinet using It's an amazing thing, using ingredients that I have on hand to make fabulous meals and flop-u-lous things that I won't make again. Fabulous category first... 1) Honey Wheat Rolls (mmmm nothing better than homemade bread) 2) Home-freaking-made (oh yeah) Turkey Pot Pie. See, I guess I'm deprived because I only had those tiny little frozen pot pies that you can get on any given day for about $1 a pop. Yes, those are pretty darn good, but let me tell you how proud I was when I peeled the potatoes and onions and carrots and I sliced the celery and I made Betty Crocker cry with pleasure. OK, I exaggerate slightly (ever so) but I'm "chasing rabbits". (Chasing rabbits is something a grade school teacher called "getting off topic".) 3) Homemade banana pudding. Well, crap, I had milk that I needed to use up and I had 2 bananas that were going black. Turkey Pot Pie, Wheat Rolls, Pudding. Fat-ass ecstasy. Diet friendly? Well, not so much. One thing at a time, ok? Because I was using stuff that I have. Don't blame me, I'm not built to waste food!

Ready to hear about the flop-u-lous dish? This dish sounds like something in a fancy restaurant. It's Chicken with Almond & Butter topping. I'm sure it had a better name in the recipe, but I don't remember what it was. OK so in the recipe (which I followed to the ridiculous letter) says you need to buy bone-in split chicken breasts (awesome, they were in my freezer)...then you boil those for a few minutes and remove the skin and bone. Hello??!!? I did this and the whole freaking time I was thinking...damn it, why didn't you just skip all of that messy weirdness and start from the top with boneless, skinless chicken breasts??!?! Seriously? So I was pissed before the chicken was even releasing clear juices. Then, you flour the chicken and slowly brown it in an ass-load of butter. Then ya take the chicken out of the pan, and add to the pan some wine and lemon and slivered almonds. Now, I did have almonds in my cabinet (thanks to a big sale at Kroger) but they were whole and not slivered. What did I do? I sat there, with a knife, already pissed and I slivered each and every freaking one of those almonds. It's a time consuming process, this. Anyway, here I go, finally add back the chicken, stir it all around, and serve it. It was weird tasting. The almonds give a sweetness, the lemon gives and sourness, and the whole dish was ... edible but nothing I will ever ever make again. I mean, 3 hours of messing up the whole freaking kitchen and I come out with something barely edible? Eeecchhh! If anyone wants to try a bite, come on over, it's lurking in my fridge and praying that poor kids in Africa don't find out that it's going to get tossed with the next fridge-purge. The only good thing I can say about this dish is that it was part of my resolution not to let the remainder of the wine just perish...I had to drink it!

But enough about food, I know ya'll want to hear about me moving this fine body. Oh yeah. So I think I made it through about 3 episodes of 1-song sweatiness. I have not made it yet to the second dance song, probably won't at this rate because you have to actually play the darn thing and try. I have, however, been using the Wii Sports to get a little motion. Do you know that I have been trying my butt off to hit a baseball? Hand-eye coordination, I do not have. That's why I was on the high school swim team. Throw a ball at me and it'll hit me right between the eyes, because I can't make my arms move fast enough to catch it and I'm not coordinated enough to dodge. Pathetic. Anyway, the first time the Wii told me my fitness age, I was a spry little 62 year old lady (where's the AARP when I need them?) but I've been getting a little better each day and right now, I'm in the throws of a power-surge (hot flash) beings that I'm now 45. My real BIRTH age is 33.6. I'm not happy about this judgemental little program and the geek-squad little programmer that decided that I'm not just a fat-ass, but an old fat-ass. If I ever see this guy, I'm going to sit on his glasses and throw pens at him.

BTW the Man of the House is 21 on the Wii. Actually, he's 30 but he played ball as a kid. Damn it.


  1. I just found you but I must say I love you. Lurve your wit.

  2. Melissa - I love you, too! And how could I not?